Office, for many, forms an integral part of life. And believe me, it is a jungle out there. From the beautiful to the most dangerous of human species live and rule in this corporate jungle called office. For most, it is impossible to stay out of office politics; you just get sucked in to it, knowingly or unknowingly. Office politics are typically the most vicious when there’s very little to fight over in terms of money and glory. But if you have noticed these people closely, you would see patterns of similarity and you can bucket them based on these personalities. In fact, you yourself fall in one of these personality types. And at the onset, I want to remind people that these are just a higher-level classification. I am sure, you can have many more varieties and also sub-varieties of these personality types.
The Egoist or The King type
They are right. Always! They believe that they are the smartest person in the office or room. Their ideas are the best and the only ones that count. These are the folks that pay the most lip service to “teamwork”. They want to be special and center stage.
The Intimidator or The Bully type
They use verbal and intellectual methods to be are hostile, abusive and intimidating. They always have to be right and will charge like angry bulls if you challenge or cross them. They enjoy showing you in poor light or putting you down in-front of people. Be careful if you choose to confront the bully. They become quite malicious and vindictive when someone tries to unmask them. Typically, avoid confrontation with them in public.
The Yes Man or Miss Good Intention or The Flirt type
Always willing to please, those who work with them shape their character; your opinion is conveniently their opinion. They will never argue, even if they know that they are right. If you need someone to work late, early on Christmas or New Years, ask them. But sometimes, this same person can be dangerous as well. They might show a smile on their face as they sharpen their knives–right before plunging them into your back, with loving smile that you may not even realize the damage done.
The Jumping Jack or The Newbie type
These come in a variety of different shapes and sizes and understandably they have an aura of unease about them, they’ll ask a gazillion questions and whilst most will be necessary allow them to figure some things out for themselves. It’s your duty to take advantage of their lack of experience, don’t be afraid to play pranks on them, it’s all a part of helping them settle in.
Content to never actually do any work of their own, The Delegator instead decides to pass the buck onto anyone around. Their walk around the offices is like a drive-by shooting waiting to happen, as they fling a folder onto your desk and promptly demand “Report by 4, okay? Great, thanks!” Tasks and objectives bounce off their thick skin like basketballs on hardwood, and for some reason, your boss thinks they have excellent time management skills. Yeah, you would too if your to-do list shrunk in direct correlation with your amount of available co-workers.
The Gossip Girl or The Vuvuzela Guy
Allergic to silence they will do everything they can to make noise, meaningless pointless and irritating noise, noises that will do nothing to improve anyone’s quality of life. More often than not they can be found making loud private phone calls, loudly typing on their keyboard or laughing, loudly. They are often found in the pantry or near the water filter.
The Grinch type or The Chronic Complainer type
They are in general the party-spoilers. Social events are mostly avoided they will they never do a thing that may cause anyone the slightest of pleasure, as a cardinal rule the Grinch will never dress down even on a dress down day. They always complain and whine. They see the down side of every issue. In order to engage a positive response from them you must engage them in a conversation based on a topic in which they take interest, which is normally boring topics like wood or butter.
You may find many more types in your office. And all of these personalities, make it a great, competitive, and fierce place. Darwin was right when he said, “Only the fittest and the one who quickly adapts to changes, will survive.”